I had a dream last night that I was in love with a boy who kept self destructing. He had been told by prophets that he’d die and that it was important for him to die, and that it would happen when he got home. I told him not to go, that they were manipulating him, but he kept self-harming, and shooting bubbles of air into his chest, and throwing himself down stairs. I climbed up onto to wing of a building, and got far up, but then I was stuck and I couldn’t get anybody to help me. I’d fall if I tried to descend, so I was frozen with fear there until the dream shifted and I was back on the ground. When I got back, he had disappeared.
Previously, I had a dream that my childhood church was knocked down by a wind storm, so the parishioners were building it back up. I went to see if I could climb the scaffolding, and saw that they were rebuilding it much, much bigger than it had previously been. I could see it from the roof of my house, miles away. It looked like the Tower of Babel and it was ominous and ungodly, the way the sheets of new, bare wood cut into the sky. I took a picture of if and decided to see if I could climb it anyway. I got up to the top and saw that people had given it up, and animals were living in the abandoned areas, which were full of jars and bowls. I decided to be helpful and leave water for the bees, which were dying, so I squeezed a wet cotton ball into the jars.
Then I had this dream about a girl who had hands growing between her legs, and they were clasped over her to protect her from the predatory men she ran around with. I think it was an amalgamation of everything I’d seen that day: Teeth, a movie, reading Tobacco Road, where a young woman’s harelip protects her from being married off as a preteen, also I was thinking about the ashtrays I made as merchandise for this band. They were made to look vaginal, as it was an all-female band, and I made one that had very perfect little hands coming out and googly eyes glued to the bottom, like a baby being born. For some reason, out of a band of art majors and lesbians, I was the only participant who could model a realistic version. Go figure. Anyway, the cheap plaster we used ended up being highly flammable, so we had to put up warnings. “DO NOT EXPOSE TO FLAME: EXPLOSIVE VAGINAL ASHTRAYS” hahaha. I wish I had pictures. Those would have been priceless.
Then I had a dream that I was with Jack, in the desert looking for treasure. The desert wasn’t hot, it was cold and dry and the clouds made it dark. We found a car and drove it out into the dunes until we found a house. We went in and it was like a cave, we wandered around until we came to a large stairway to the basement. The stairs led down into dark, and the foyer had been trashed, there were broken picture frames and windows and the floor, and wild animals prowling around the river in the basement, we knew. I wouldn’t go down, and disappeared, but Jack picked up a door, which had been knocked loose from its hinges, and through it down the stairway to use as a raft. Then he looked at the wall at a picture of a lion, and his reflection in the glass became a lion, and as a lion, he went down the stairs. It was very bad.