I was walking down the Valumart aisles shaking my head about the overpriced ice cream. $4 for a pint of generic ice cream? You must be kidding. As I mentally tallied up the cost and benefits of each item, I found I had to ditch a few; but the clerks in the deli were looking, so I went up the soda aisle and ditched them there. As I sneaked the items onto the shelf, a voice burst in from the overhead announcer,
“GUESS WHAT IS LURKING IN THE SEAFOOD DEPARTMENT!”
Yikes, “lurking” Is it really lurking? I wondered. What a verb. Then the guy spoke again,
OMG! monster shrimp? Those sound really scary. I do NOT want to go into the seafood department if there are monsters there.
“YOU HEARD IT RIGHT! GIANT HEAD-ON PRAWNS!”
AHHHHH!!! Dude, that sounds scary as fuck. Those things have weird exoskeletons and bug eyes and tentacles that wiggle around. I had to get out of there.
So yeah, I’m going to a different store tomorrow to get the rest of my stuff.